A little series of snapshots while we were baking cookies the other night …

Forgive the snapshots … I’m usually much too busy enjoying the moment at things like this to worry about taking perfect photos …

Afterward we were lucky enough to spend the afternoon with some of our favorite people on a little hike down by the river. Nothing in the world like childhood friends, is there? And we’re just lucky enough that we adore Addie’s sweet friends’ parents just as much as she loves those boys.

We gave him a bath, laid out a bed with the space heater on him, told him our goodbyes and Adeline found books about dogs that she read to him. He was scared and confused, his eyes never stopped twitching and moving rapidly from side to side … he couldn’t stand up, or even remember how to lie down properly and would instead spread his wobbly front legs as far as they would go in an attempt to lie down. He startled at our every movement, and his eyes were unseeing. But with his daddy by his side giving him comfort and love as he always has for the past 14 years, he finally relaxed and looked a little more at peace. We rubbed his soft, warm ears and told him stories. We cried. A lot. Adeline was afraid and I was, of course, worried out of my mind about how to comfort her and answer her questions to calm the confusion.

Eliza provided comic relief and played the maracas. I told Kameha about the day I met him. About how I had decided the man I loved needed him as his first puppy ever. And just as we all started crying, that is when Eliza turned my drink upside down all over herself just to lighten the mood.

Even though we had been explaining what was going to happen throughout the whole evening, it turns out Addie did not understand that Kameha was going to die at all. After Scott left with Kameha she told me it’s okay because he’ll come back, that Penelope (our wiener dog) goes to the vet all the time and comes back. So, I had to explain that he was going to die at the vet’s … and to very carefully word it so she wouldn’t be afraid that she or we would die (or be killed) if we get sick or too old. I needed to balance telling her in a way that would not have her fearing her own or our deaths (we are just now exiting a phase she experienced where she was horribly afraid of … well, everything), while at the same time not sugar coating it. I think our saying too many times earlier, “You know that Kameha isn’t coming back …?” left her confused about just what was going to happen. And I steered clear of saying anything about him going to “sleep” or getting “medicine” or an “IV.” Otherwise, knowing my Adeline, she’d be terrified of sleep, medicine and of mommy getting her IV’s. At first she brushed it off, saying she wasn’t feeling anything and was fine. Then she admitted she was very scared and started crying. We had a long talk … probably one of the most difficult talks I’ve had with her, because while we talk about death frequently (especially because of Uncle Brett), she’s never lost anyone in her little precious life. So how do you explain something to a scared, innocent child when you yourself don’t even understand it (because you can bet our intelligent girl asked the why’s and how’s)?

These two snapshots are from one our family walks several years ago …

So, this sounds like enough trauma for my little girl to handle for one night, right? But, oh no … mommy has something else to scare the wits out of her up my sleeve!

The cleaning solution fiasco … otherwise known as, “Mommy Does Not Know How to Keep Her Cool So As Not To Panic the Kids.” And I needlessly end up making her sob and scream. So, while we all loved on him and told him stories, Kameha peed all over the place. After Scott left, Addie was crying and I had her and Eliza in my lap while we talked. Miss Independent takes off (Eliza is the explorer baby, always zooming off and checking out her world in a blaze of sweet baby curiosity) and a mere 20 seconds later we peek around the corner in the playroom to find the floor cleaner dumped ALL over the floor and all over Eliza. She looks up at me as she holds the bottle and has cleaner dripping out of her mouth. Wouldn’t you know that every bottle of cleaner in our house is all natural and non toxic except this very one that came with the Floormate? I panic, pick her up and smell it in her mouth then proceed to run around like a lunatic saying, “Shit, shit, shit … OMG, shit …” while Addie cries and screams, “What mommy???” The bottle says nothing but KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN. A few horrible minutes later I finally calm down enough to call Poison Control and they say to just watch her for a couple hours for skin irritation or vomiting, etc., but that we likely have nothing to worry about (and, indeed, she nursed to sleep 30 minutes later and is sleeping peacefully curled up against me now). Poor little Addie had a very traumatic day.

We have this very special little place we like to head to … our first photos were taken there when I was pregnant with Eliza. You can read all about our adventure there the first visit here (scroll down). And now we are having all new, fun adventures there … look at the bottom of ALL these photos (I know, there are A LOT!) for the story about Adeline and our magic horses.

I always let Adeline pick some of the props and session ideas … so here is the Argus camera again – she’s very fond of this one.

Adeline likes to pretend that there are magical, invisible horses that take up residence in the barn and we spend a good deal of time walking the horses around, giving them grain and laying down in the grass to rest next to Sophie (the mama horse). I captured a few photos of Addie walking Sophie down the trail – hands up in the air holding the lead line. That evening I told her I could not wait to upload the photos because sometimes the very special beings that are magical like Sophie will appear in photos after they’ve been taken. Although they appear to be invisible to the casual observer, some cameras are actually able to freeze the magic and we can see on the photo what only she and I can see in our minds while playing with our enchanted wild horses. So, while Adeline was sleeping … I made this super cheesy, one handed hack Photoshop job I did with Eliza sleeping and nursing in my arms (please don’t think this is a serious composite – but merely something to make a five year old giddy).