Posted on July 28, 2010
Because little Miss Eliza June joined us sooner than I had anticipated, I never got a chance to share my beautiful maternity photos that my friend, Robin Long, shot for us. It was so fun working with her … she also shot our birth photos to be posted next with my “birth story” and Eliza updates. Robin worked with me so I could use my locations (and my horsie!) and then let me do all my own post processing … Paint the Moon style. She’s an amazing photographer, yes?
Posted on July 25, 2010
… coming soon … Lots to talk about … little time to do it!! I will post while Miss Eliza June is nursing and sleeping (which is about all we do right now besides poop) … it is just so hard to do with one free hand! LOL!
I am so in love with this little miracle!!!!
Miss Eliza June sleeping, skin to skin with mommy … we spend a lot of time nakey around here. She struck this “pose” all on her own.
Posted on July 18, 2010
So, I’ve been having contractions since early evening … it’s 4am now. They are much different than all the Braxton Hicks I’ve had for so long … an achy, major pressure in my pelvis. I can’t compare it to my labor with Adeline, since my water broke with her at home and then intense, painful contractions started immediately (couldn’t have been mistaken for anything else, lol). I took a bath earlier with my Addie Bee and headed to bed … was able to sleep until about 2am, thankfully. Now they are a little too intense to sleep through. I feel amazingly calm. I am a little bummed, however, that I will have to cancel a special day I had planned for Adeline tomorrow. She’s been looking forward to it for FOREVER (seriously, since like Christmas, which to a four year old is indeed forever ago). We were taking her to Portland to do the whole cheesy Build a Bear thing and then to the swimming pool and a special lunch, and she has been talking about it all week and went to sleep tonight babbling about what she was going to pick out for her doggie. I feel sad that we’ll have to postpone it on her.
So, I think I’ll just lay here and breathe through the contractions a bit longer before waking Scott up. I’m going to snuggle my little angel and breathe in the sweet smell of her hair and stroke her cheek. Now I’m getting all sad thinking this might be the last night of her and I snuggling just the two of us without a baby to share the snuggles with.
Oh, ouuuchhhhhhhhh!!!! Yeah, I am seriously doubting we’ll make it to Build a Bear today! LOL!
ETA: It’s 6:50am and I’m still laying here trying to relax. I’ve spent the past three hours gazing at my little girl, squeezing her tight and doing a lot of crying in between contractions. I feel guilty for having sad feelings at this wonderfully happy time, but am so worried about how things might change between my Addie girl and me. I know every mom tells me the love will just multiply and everything will work out fine … but right now all I can think about is my little girl’s heart and how much she needs her mommy. Granted, she has been showing a fierce streak of independence lately … but she’s still this mama’s baby girl. My heart feels all wrapped up in Adeline right now. As I type this on my iPod she has her limbs all wrapped around me and is rubbing my “bow” (she has a special attachment to my elbows – having always caressed my “bows” while nursing since she was a baby, and she still comforts herself by “rubbing the bows,” lol) … I’m staying right here as long as I can. I plan on snuggling her some more, and when she wakes up we’ll take another bath, read some stories and, if I’m able to manage, take a nice walk together. I am definitely not in a hurry to get to a hospital. Earlier Scott came over to my side (Adeline sleeps between us), and I was snuggled by both of my peeps – sandwiched in between all that love while breathing through contractions … and little baby Eliza kicking her sister in the back. So much love.
And one more shot of my sleeping beauty the other morning … and the second photo is two seconds after the first one. That is just how happy she wakes up every morning … what a blessing to be greeted by such love and happiness every morning! And she always immediately snuggles closer, saying sweet things like, “You are my favorite girl in the whole world, mommy. You’re my sunshine that makes my heart so happy.” How could a mama not have a good day when being greeted first thing like that?
Posted on July 17, 2010
SO much to post about from the past few days, but once again I’ve already stayed up waaayyyy too late and my days are numbered for the option to actually sleep with Eliza on the way any day now. I hate doing these post and runs, but I’ve gotta get some sleep too. And I know if I get going talking about what’s been going on and what I’ve been feeling that I’ll end up staying up at least another hour. So, with that, I will say I am going to try really hard to get back and post something meaningful tomorrow evening.
For those wanting an update from my Facebook status earlier today (baby girl wasn’t moving much at all for most of the day today, so I went into L&D on the advice of my OB), I’m back at home and Eliza is doing okay. We had some monitoring done and a Biophysical Profile Ultrasound. The ultrasound Eliza June passed with flying colors, however, the non stress test kept showing that with every contraction her heart rate would decelerate (from around 120 to the 90′s). So now, I am, of course, stressed out and worried. I keep worrying that every contraction I have is causing her heart rate to drop (the contractions are just Braxton Hicks at this point … and I’m still only dilated a “loose” 1cm). Scott, in his school boy humor and maturity level thought it hilarious the nurse kept referring to me as a “Loose One” … threatening to post it on Facebook and add “that’s how we got into this in the first place!” Buh-dum-dum. Ha, ha.
On top of the worries about baby girl my POTS has been taking me on a nose dive … forcing me to worry about how my body is going to handle labor and the aftermath of my body crashing after birth. All in all, pregnancy has been pretty good to me and after the first trimester I saw an improvement in my POTS over pre-pregnancy. I know all that extra blood volume really helps a lot, plus all the hormones dashing around inside me. Losing both of those benefits is bound to take it’s toll and cause my nervous system to take a dive again. Most days I try to just not think about it and take one day (or hour, as the case may be) at a time. But when it’s really knocking me out so I just can’t do anything (poor Addie was sobbing earlier because mommy couldn’t play again), it’s hard to ignore and impossible for me to not think about what’s going to happen after the birth. For the first time in ages today I just felt a sinking depression set in. Hopefully, that’s got a lot to do with the hormones and stress. The last thing I need is being swept back into a state of depression … I haven’t had to deal with that in years, and never want to again.
See … I did it again. Once I start “talking” I just keep rambling. And now it’s 45 minutes past when I initially said I was signing off. Sleep, here I come. Thank you everyone for all your kind words, support and for reading my ramblings here. I’m always shocked and pleasantly surprised to see anyone out there actually reading this drivel … and to read a nice comment here and there just makes my heart all warm and fuzzy. Much love and peace to you!
Oh, and a couple self portraits of me at 39 weeks preggers.
My apologies to any family members or friends who want to burn their eyes out after seeing the following photos … LOL! I really wanted to document the baby bump and tried to do it as tastefully as one can when using a self timer and running back and forth in the studio by yourself. I can just see my older brother running from the computer, holding his eyes and screaming, “Oh, my eyes, my eyes!!!”
Posted on July 15, 2010
Scott taught Addie how to blow bubbles in 5 minutes last night … we had to run to the studio and capture the very first bubble!! Can you tell she was excited?? She sat in the mirror blowing bubbles for about 45 minutes last night. LOL!
Will post more tonight … a lot to share!